Reframing Our Mindset: Stop Feeling Like an Impostor

Impostor syndrome is our tendency to discount or diminish obvious evidence of our abilities. Impostor syndrome can be detrimental to our performance and well-being: flying under the radar to avoid being in the spotlight can make us less likely to grow professionally or academically, procrastination can cause stress and/or anxiety and the subsequent overwork can affect our sleeping patterns and overall health.

We might become workaholics, or even make self-sabotage a personal routine, affecting us negatively at the workplace and home.

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The thing is that no one likes to fail, or to not know the answer, or to struggle with learning. The difference between impostors and non-impostors is that those firmly in the first category feel shame for it. In contrast, the non-impostors know that they can’t be brilliant at everything. They know that there is no such thing as perfect, and they are fine with that. So, instead of trying to reach impossible standards that – God knows why – we have put on ourselves, perhaps we can try a more dynamic approach towards overcoming impostor syndrome: it just involves four easy steps and lots of practice.

The 4 steps to stop feeling like an impostor

1. Pay attention to the conversation going on in your head: out of years of practice, we have come accustomed to the impostor thoughts, telling us that we’re not good enough, or not smart enough. So from now on, when someone compliments you about your achievements, just take the compliment.

Listen to yourself thinking “oh, it’s nothing”, “anyone can do it”, “it’s not even that good”, and choose to dismiss the thought. Don’t act as if the thought is not there. It is, just look at it, listen to it, and then let it go. Maybe at the beginning it will feel weird, or fake, or even wrong, but you just need to keep doing it. The temptation to dismiss your achievements can be overwhelming, but don’t fall into it.

2. Talk about it: when you experience impostor feelings or thoughts, discuss it with your peers, your colleagues, your classmates, or your mentors. Some of them may well identify with the same feelings. It is not a fun conversation to have, but it is an enlightening one. Normalise it, make it a trust-building exercise, if you will. It might feel awkward to express that level of vulnerability but once it’s out, a new window of opportunities to overcome it will be open.

3. Recognize the facts (even if they’re not good): new, challenging tasks will come your way and you won’t master them in one hour. You will make mistakes, and you will need to ask for help. And that is OK. You don’t have to be perfect at everything in the same second you learn it. You can take your time. Even for old tasks, sometimes some things might not go according to plan. Respond healthily, identify the problem, find the solution, rely on others, ask for help, and grow with the new knowledge. Don’t let it batter you to the ground, you’re not less or incompetent just for not knowing something or for making a mistake. Take a deep breath and move on. It is not the end of the world.

4. Practise thinking differently: reframe the impostor mindset, don’t let your brain convince you that you’re a failure. Spice up your thoughts with nicer words. You’re not lost, you’re just bewildered. You’re not failing, you’re learning. You’re not “tricking” anyone with your last-minute presentation, you’re just capable enough to gather useful information in a short amount of time. It can sound fake, it might feel like an excuse at first. Just keep doing it.

When will you see the results?

The bad news is that it won’t happen overnight. If you came to this article harbouring impostor feelings, you will not leave this article without them. The good news is that it will happen, eventually. It takes time, and work, but it is a doable task. Even if you like efficiency and speed, you will have to take it easy on this one. Feelings are the last thing to change, you need to start thinking in a different way first. Even if you don’t believe it at first, you just need to keep persisting. Take it as a fun challenge, make it a bet with a friend to stop saying bad things about yourself, reward yourself whenever you can genuinely take a compliment, make a money jar for bad thoughts or impostor feelings.

Keep in mind that you may well feel like an impostor while performing this mindset change too. Try to ignore the feeling. Sometimes you will succeed, sometimes you won’t. That is fine too. If you think about it, there’s a contradiction in the impostor premise: you think that other people are smarter than you, but they’re so stupid that you can easily fool them. Do you see the inconsistency? It makes no sense, and that’s what you need to keep reminding yourself.

Sources

Abrams, A. (2018) Yes, Impostor Syndrome is real. Here’s how to deal with it. Retrieved from [https://time.com/5312483/how-to-deal-with-impostor-syndrome/]

Soeiro, L. (2019) How to cope with Impostor Syndrome. Retrieved from [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201908/how-cope-impostor-syndrome]

Young, V. (2016) 10 Steps you can use to overcome Impostor Syndrome. Retrieved from [https://impostorsyndrome.com/10-steps-overcome-impostor/]

Author:

Natalia Marcela Pitta Osses

Article Writer & Content Contributor

November 16, 2020

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